impulse
i know there are better people than me. people that are much better and much more fruitful in what they give as a person. i wish i could be that way. wish i could live without worrying about if what im giving is enough. maybe i shouldn't be worrying about it, and maybe its some silly thing that nobody else thinks about, but i do. i am thinking it now, here, and i know it is real and so i wont doubt that it exists. and i know that i am only a replica of those before me, so i know at least some other person has thought about this the same way as i have. maybe not today, maybe not right now, maybe 20 years in the past. it happened nonetheless. it will happen again. i am proof of this. i think my girlfriend is better off finding people who are able to give her more than i can. i think she should go off and find somebody better than i can be, who acts better and thinks cleaner than i do. i think she should leave me behind, no matter how much i cry and beg for her to come back, because i know there is somebody better than me. no matter how angry or hurt or jealous or depressed i am over it. find someone better.